If We Break: A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing
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- Create Date：2022-08-16 01:17:54
- Update Date：2025-09-24
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- Author：Kathleen Buhle
- ISBN：0593241053
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Summary
Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this intimate， astonishing memoir。
This is not a story about good versus evil。 Or who was right。 Or who was better。 For decades， Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife， beginning when， as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago， she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon。 Within months of falling in love， Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged， living a life beyond anything she’d ever known。
Determined to build her family on a foundation of love， Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle。 But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency， she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction。 When the lies became insurmountable， Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage。 She wondered if she could survive on her own。
The result is a memoir that is page-turning and heart-breaking。 Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years， why she became dependent on one man， and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth。 This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it。
This is not a story about good versus evil。 Or who was right。 Or who was better。 For decades， Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife， beginning when， as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago， she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon。 Within months of falling in love， Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged， living a life beyond anything she’d ever known。
Determined to build her family on a foundation of love， Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle。 But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency， she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction。 When the lies became insurmountable， Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage。 She wondered if she could survive on her own。
The result is a memoir that is page-turning and heart-breaking。 Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years， why she became dependent on one man， and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth。 This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it。
Reviews
Ed Dorsey
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I think most of us have a preconceived notion of what kind of person is Hunter Biden。 Ms。 Buhle， although fairly balanced in her description of life with Mr。 Biden， through good times and bad， left no doubt in my mind what a cad he seems。 Ms Buhle sometimes comes across as a termagant， but later through therapy does take some responsibility in pushing hard for Hunter's sobriety。 Her strength shows through as a parent， and during a serious life event。 I wish her well。 Everything Ms。 Buhle discuss I think most of us have a preconceived notion of what kind of person is Hunter Biden。 Ms。 Buhle， although fairly balanced in her description of life with Mr。 Biden， through good times and bad， left no doubt in my mind what a cad he seems。 Ms Buhle sometimes comes across as a termagant， but later through therapy does take some responsibility in pushing hard for Hunter's sobriety。 Her strength shows through as a parent， and during a serious life event。 I wish her well。 Everything Ms。 Buhle discusses is her relationship and does not get into politics or what Biden is accused of doing business wise。 。。。more
Eric
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I mildly interesting memoir of one woman's marriage to a powerful and broken man - in this case Hunter Biden。 I would pose there is little here of earth-shattering impact or importance。 I mildly interesting memoir of one woman's marriage to a powerful and broken man - in this case Hunter Biden。 I would pose there is little here of earth-shattering impact or importance。 。。。more
Caleigh
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What a story！ I couldn’t put it down and found her self-reflection and honesty endearing。 I also appreciated her sarcastic wit。
Sandy
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I don’t often give five stars but this book was nothing like I thought it was going to be。 It is one of the best written memoirs I have ever read giving the story of what it’s like to love someone with addiction。 Incredibly honest and not salacious… And she in no way uses the Biden connection to gain any notoriety nor additional book sales。 She mentions Joe and Jill so little and truly sticks to telling the story of her life and not the famous Family she married into。 Even the fact of her changi I don’t often give five stars but this book was nothing like I thought it was going to be。 It is one of the best written memoirs I have ever read giving the story of what it’s like to love someone with addiction。 Incredibly honest and not salacious… And she in no way uses the Biden connection to gain any notoriety nor additional book sales。 She mentions Joe and Jill so little and truly sticks to telling the story of her life and not the famous Family she married into。 Even the fact of her changing her last name and not publishing a book under the name Biden which would right now sell many more copies tells the true story of her integrity。 Please read this book… You will not be sorry 。。。more
Leah
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I didn't feel anything after reading this。 There was no real sense of intimacy， of vulnerability， of urgency from this memoir。I had no real stake in this doomed marriage， either; I went in never having heard of Kathleen Biden （nee Buhle）， and barely knowing much about Hunter （something about a laptop？ And Ukraine？ I think？。。。was/is there also a drug-laden sex tape， or am I confusing him with Anthony Weiner？） I don't know， but I do think he is a broken man who never got over the loss of his broth I didn't feel anything after reading this。 There was no real sense of intimacy， of vulnerability， of urgency from this memoir。I had no real stake in this doomed marriage， either; I went in never having heard of Kathleen Biden （nee Buhle）， and barely knowing much about Hunter （something about a laptop？ And Ukraine？ I think？。。。was/is there also a drug-laden sex tape， or am I confusing him with Anthony Weiner？） I don't know， but I do think he is a broken man who never got over the loss of his brother and I feel sorry for him。Buhle's storytelling felt very guarded， like she was withholding A LOT。 Anyone who's ever intimately known anyone suffering from addiction will recognize what rings true and what rings false。 Was she protecting herself？ Her children？ The Bidens？ Maybe simply not enough time has passed between the end of her marriage and the writing of this book。 。。。more
Nicki Nicksic
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Addiction is a disease that makes good people do bad things。 Buttttt Hunter Biden sucks。 No need for his laptop， just get ahold of his iCloud。 Yikes。
Jordan Clarke
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3。5 stars。 I wanted a little more detail。 I did enjoy the book because I related to much of the story and it evoked an emotion in me。
Sakeenah Graham
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This was great！！ It wasn’t messy or melodramatic。 It was well written， honest， personal。 I loved it！！
Chelsea TRef-Hoerle
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To know an addict， is to love an addict。 I read hunters book last year and the “other” side of the story was just as good as I thought it would be。 Amazing writing。 We are still left with some questions， but you can tell this book was written pre-2020， and or she is not allowed to speak on certain topics nowMy father was an addict， so I see my mother so much in this and it will never not break my heart。 Great memoir
Ellie
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fairly short read that’s definitely worth your time！ not once was i bored。 kathleen was very honest about her experience marrying into the biden family， how big an impact the death of beau biden had on the family glue， and the ultimate demise of her marriage to hunter。 i really admire her strength and devotion to her kids。
Amy Madzinski
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I’ve read the memoirs by many of the Bidens now- Hunter， Joe， Jill now Kathleen and it’s been interesting to read about their individual perspectives on common events in the family’s life。 However， this account gives a raw look at Kathleen and Hunter’s marriage and Kathleen’s relentless pursuit to keep it together during Hunter’s downward spiral of addiction and infidelity。 I thoroughly enjoyed this and have a new found respect for Kathleen！
Lili
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More like 3，5 stars。
Rick Reitzug
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A classy memoir。 As Hunter Biden's ex-wife， the author could have hatefully disparaged him， given his addictions and infidelity。 She does not do so， however， relating her story and their story without animosity。 In fact， she speaks of many of the Bidens （especially Joe and Beau） with great affection and it's clear that she loved Hunter and his many good qualities--his addictions and infidelity simply being too severe and frequently debilitating for their relationship to survive。 If you're lookin A classy memoir。 As Hunter Biden's ex-wife， the author could have hatefully disparaged him， given his addictions and infidelity。 She does not do so， however， relating her story and their story without animosity。 In fact， she speaks of many of the Bidens （especially Joe and Beau） with great affection and it's clear that she loved Hunter and his many good qualities--his addictions and infidelity simply being too severe and frequently debilitating for their relationship to survive。 If you're looking for juicy gossip， then this is not the book for you。 On the other hand， if you're interested in an honest account of a woman as she tries to salvage her relationship and life with a partner as he struggles with major addictions， then you will likely find this book an interesting read。 。。。more
Wilson
，
It’s OK to Break a LittleI love books ， I love a good story and all my life I’ve held strong to the thought that books pick us。 This book picked me。 As a woman， daughter， mother， caregiver， survivor and glorious woman ~ Kathleen Buhle gives us a roadmap back to being our authentic selves。 May her journey continue to bless others and most importantly may she always embrace the blessing that is Kathleen。
Suzanne Mosley
，
I enjoyed this memoir， yet I felt it’s weight！ The heaviness， pain， and heart break of addiction was shown through this memoir of Kathleen Buhle， ex-wife of Hunter Biden， son of President Joe Biden。
Dorothy Greco
，
I don't keep up with celebrity news （because frankly I don't care much about celebrities）， so I held no opinion about Hunter Biden and whatever happened in the Ukraine。 However， after reading this book， I do think he's an immature， incredibly broken person。 Having an affair with your brother's widow？ Unconscionable。 （And shame on Pres。 and Jill Biden for affirming the relationship！） While I'm sorry for the pain and suffering that Kathleen endured because of Hunter's behavior， I'm not sure If We I don't keep up with celebrity news （because frankly I don't care much about celebrities）， so I held no opinion about Hunter Biden and whatever happened in the Ukraine。 However， after reading this book， I do think he's an immature， incredibly broken person。 Having an affair with your brother's widow？ Unconscionable。 （And shame on Pres。 and Jill Biden for affirming the relationship！） While I'm sorry for the pain and suffering that Kathleen endured because of Hunter's behavior， I'm not sure If We Break merits three to four hours of your life。 Buhle is not exactly a compelling writer: the first half smacks of privilege and the second half reads a bit like a tabloid。 。。。more
Jennifer Riding
，
5/5 stars for this memoir by Kathleen Buhle， Hunter Biden’s ex-wife。 It was honest， humorous， painful， relatable， and raw-but-not-uncomfortable。 When it came sharing insights into her marriage， she was compassionate but was not dismissive of his bad behavior。 She also wrote about her own “craziness” （i。e。 codependence）， which I appreciated。 We are all a work in progress！ It was fun to get a glimpse of Joe and Jill as in-laws and grandparents。 “I now know that you can love someone and still expec 5/5 stars for this memoir by Kathleen Buhle， Hunter Biden’s ex-wife。 It was honest， humorous， painful， relatable， and raw-but-not-uncomfortable。 When it came sharing insights into her marriage， she was compassionate but was not dismissive of his bad behavior。 She also wrote about her own “craziness” （i。e。 codependence）， which I appreciated。 We are all a work in progress！ It was fun to get a glimpse of Joe and Jill as in-laws and grandparents。 “I now know that you can love someone and still expect them to take responsibility for their actions。” 。。。more
Ladies Nightout
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Excellent book with the blame
Katie
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5 stars！ I'm a sucker for a memoir and the audiobook for this one tore my heart out and then put it back together again。 Addiction is such a nasty disease that wreaks havoc on more than just the person addicted and Kathleen does an incredible job of showing the full spectrum of impact that Hunter's spiral had on not only her marriage to him， but to their family as a whole as well。 I especially loved how she makes it a point to accept blame where blame is due and doesn't take the whole book just 5 stars！ I'm a sucker for a memoir and the audiobook for this one tore my heart out and then put it back together again。 Addiction is such a nasty disease that wreaks havoc on more than just the person addicted and Kathleen does an incredible job of showing the full spectrum of impact that Hunter's spiral had on not only her marriage to him， but to their family as a whole as well。 I especially loved how she makes it a point to accept blame where blame is due and doesn't take the whole book just pointing the finger。 She shows a lot of strength through everything she has gone through and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing her journey 🖤 。。。more
Amanda Bennett
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Really good book。 Not a lot of blame or finger pointing。 Just telling the story。
Judy Fiset
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Honestly told without bitterness。
Heather Bass
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Love 'em or hate 'em， this was a great story told as if you were listening to a girlfriend share her struggles and desperate attempts to save her marriage。 You can't help but admire her strength to survive all she went through and the courage to recount the details。 I binged the last half of this book and then of course had to google to see how/where everyone is now - Wow。 Love 'em or hate 'em， this was a great story told as if you were listening to a girlfriend share her struggles and desperate attempts to save her marriage。 You can't help but admire her strength to survive all she went through and the courage to recount the details。 I binged the last half of this book and then of course had to google to see how/where everyone is now - Wow。 。。。more
Kayleen
，
Surprised myself and enjoyed this memoir; listened to the author narrate her memoir which I found more compelling to listen to。 Yes she is married into privilege but experiences profound trauma in her marriage and her family due to her husband's infidelity and addiction。 Of course I only read this because she was married to a Biden。 Surprised myself and enjoyed this memoir; listened to the author narrate her memoir which I found more compelling to listen to。 Yes she is married into privilege but experiences profound trauma in her marriage and her family due to her husband's infidelity and addiction。 Of course I only read this because she was married to a Biden。 。。。more
Kerry
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Well written and heart breaking。 The cover photo breaks my heart
Lori
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So heartbreaking that I nearly could not finish。
Beth
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If you are looking for a memoir with dirt， this probably isn’t what you are looking for。 I kinda was， and I had only planned on listening for a few hours today， but as the story went on， I was drawn in for the honesty and emotion the author puts in。 Yes， I was saying “lady， this guy is a complete cad and loser” but I could tell （and cringe at the thought！） that she loved this man。 She even manages to make the reader a little sympathetic to her husband， if only for a few moments at the closeness If you are looking for a memoir with dirt， this probably isn’t what you are looking for。 I kinda was， and I had only planned on listening for a few hours today， but as the story went on， I was drawn in for the honesty and emotion the author puts in。 Yes， I was saying “lady， this guy is a complete cad and loser” but I could tell （and cringe at the thought！） that she loved this man。 She even manages to make the reader a little sympathetic to her husband， if only for a few moments at the closeness and loss of his brother。 But yeah， gross let’s think about that love of his brother and the fact that he slept with his brothers widow。 I laughed when Kathleen was on her first date after divorce and told the guy she was definitely not getting back with her ex and gave him the reason。 Anyway， I was going to tap out if there was any mention of politics or lectures about democrat policy and there was NONE of that。 This is strictly a personal memoir and an honest look at a very troubled marriage and relationship and a little inside into the absolute MESS that is Hunter Biden。 This is a very well done memoir。 。。。more
Clarisse Peralta
，
3。5 stars rounded up。 I practically jumped this morning when I saw Kathleen’s eldest daughter’s Instagram story on her mom’s new book！ I breezed through this， not only because it was a compelling read but also （and mostly） due to my curiosity。 Despite not knowing previously what she went through in detail， I always had immense respect for Kathleen’s ability to endure and stand by Hunter throughout his addiction。 While reading his memoir， I often wondered what she thought and felt， in disbelief t 3。5 stars rounded up。 I practically jumped this morning when I saw Kathleen’s eldest daughter’s Instagram story on her mom’s new book！ I breezed through this， not only because it was a compelling read but also （and mostly） due to my curiosity。 Despite not knowing previously what she went through in detail， I always had immense respect for Kathleen’s ability to endure and stand by Hunter throughout his addiction。 While reading his memoir， I often wondered what she thought and felt， in disbelief that they remained married for as long as they did。 Finally hearing her side feels like she has found her authentic voice。 I sympathized with her during Part II of the book that by the end I was just so relieved she managed to start anew。 As it takes courage to revisit the deep wounds of the past， it’s truly admirable how she was able to write this from a place of true healing and forgiveness。 I’m glad that she shared her story because now outsiders like me have a better understanding of her marriage than what was painted in the media， as well as based on impressions from Hunter’s memoir。 I sincerely wish Kathleen the very best， and hope that all of life’s hardships are behind her。 。。。more
Bailey
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3。5 rounded up to 4。 This is such a heartbreaking tale of addiction that will break your heart。 Since it is from Buhle's perspective， you see how it addiction deeply effects the loved ones of the addict。 I do not have anyone close to me who is an addict， so I would be very interested in hearing the perspective of someone who has first hand experience with this topic。I would also be interested to see the pushback on this book because I don't read very many political books and I am sure that there 3。5 rounded up to 4。 This is such a heartbreaking tale of addiction that will break your heart。 Since it is from Buhle's perspective， you see how it addiction deeply effects the loved ones of the addict。 I do not have anyone close to me who is an addict， so I would be very interested in hearing the perspective of someone who has first hand experience with this topic。I would also be interested to see the pushback on this book because I don't read very many political books and I am sure that there is controversy on the truth of Buhle's perspective of the story。 I believe Buhle's side but I also haven't heard anything from the other side。The part of this book that gave it its name was truly such a beautiful summary of the story。TW: Addiction， Infidelity， Emotional AbuseThank you to Penguin Random House Audio for the audiobook copy for this one！ 。。。more
Vincent Triola
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This book， directly and indirectly， provides a rare view of patriarchy， Christianity， and privilege we often don't see。 Buhle's ability to detach and write with objectivity clarifies this view which at times is brutally honest。 I gave the book five stars for being well-written and thought-provoking。 My book discussion details my review with more depth。 This book， directly and indirectly， provides a rare view of patriarchy， Christianity， and privilege we often don't see。 Buhle's ability to detach and write with objectivity clarifies this view which at times is brutally honest。 I gave the book five stars for being well-written and thought-provoking。 My book discussion details my review with more depth。 。。。more
Kelly
，